Tiger's 2008 Season: Extinct

BREAKING: Tiger Woods has announced that he will have surgery on his left knee, ending a 2008 season in which he played in six tournaments. In those six tournaments, Tiger made six cuts, won four times, and made $5,775,000. Tiger will miss the last two majors of the year -- the British Open and the PGA Championship -- leaving eight unlucky ALACS'ers in the dust. Tiger will also miss the Ryder Cup in September.