Christmas Edition: Destiny's Darlings?

Kyle Davis, Jordan Spektor, and Jordan Van Horn lead the three ALACS fantasy football divisions going into the season's final week.

Despite being out of the office for the second half of the football season, The Commish is feeling generous on Christmas Day. The NFL's regular season will come to a close on Sunday, bringing with it the conclusion of three ALACS Fantasy Football leagues and the NFL Pick 'Em game. Here's a not-so-brief rundown of each game's action going into the final weekend.

As always, the Fantasy Football Power Rankings for each division can be found here. It should be noted that in the event of a tie in the Power Rankings, the tiebreaker is TOTAL POINTS. Click the subject header for each league/game in the following paragraphs to view standings.

FANTASY FOOTBALL: LO DIVISION

In what is sure to be the most exciting finish of the three ALACS Fantasy Football divisions, Kyle Davis’ Rudi’s Luggage and Andy Popp’s Bandwagon Butcher are neck-and-neck going into Week 17. Davis leapfrogged Popp into 1st place after an abysmal 66-point showing from the Butcher in Week 16, Popp’s lowest-scoring week of the season.

Of the three PWR Categories, only Kyle Davis’ 12 PWR score in Total Points is secure. Popp sits at 11-5 in H2H record and has a Week 17 matchup vs. Fourth and Schlong; Davis is at 10-6 and plays DSFB in the season’s final week. Both of these games should be competitive.

ESPN Week 17 Game Line Projections
Fourth and Schlong (104) vs. Bandwagon Butcher (104)
Rudi’s Luggage (117) vs. DSFB (112)

In the Breakdown category, Davis has a slim two-game lead over Popp. If Popp can gain those three necessary games in Breakdown over Davis in Week 17, win his H2H matchup, and outscore Mike Lazar’s Laser Boots by seven points in Week 17, he should go home with the LO Division Championship.

Rudi’s Luggage (2:1 odds to win): Kyle can hold onto his slim lead atop the Power Rankings by outscoring Popp in Week 17 and winning his H2H matchup vs. DSFB.

Bandwagon Butcher (1:2 odds to win): Popp can gain two PWR Points in Breakdown if he can make up three Breakdown games over Rudi’s Luggage in Week 17. Popp can also gain one PWR Point in Total Points by outscoring Laser Boots by seven points in Week 17. Lastly, the Butcher can gain 0.5 PWR points in H2H Record if Mike Shoff loses to Brandon Seroyer and Adam Brady beats Kyle Davis in their respective Week 17 matchups.

The most dramatic implications of this Week 17 showdown can be found in the ALACS Year-Round Standings. Winning the LO Division will earn Kyle Davis 330 ALACS points. Combine those 330 Points with a potential 230 Points from winning the NFL Pick ‘Em Pool, and Kyle Davis will likely be your new ALACS Leader if he can pull off both victories.

FANTASY FOOTBALL: USC DIVISION

Barring a monumental collapse, Jordan Spektor should walk away from Week 17 with the USC Division crown planted firmly atop his head. Spektor is guaranteed to hold on to his 12 PWR Points in H2H Record and could lose only one of his 12 PWR Points in Breakdown if Justin Zelik were to gain 10 breakdown games on him in Week 17, which is a near impossibility. That leaves only the Points category, where Spektor has a 14-point lead on Brendan Meyer, a 21-point lead on Justin Zelik, and a 42-point lead on Dan Goldman. Things will only get interesting in Week 17 if Spektor fails to score around 60 points.

Santonio Holmes’ Weed (8:1 odds to win): Should lock up the USC Division Championship with even a sub-par performance.

Brent Huckelberry (1:6 odds to win): Unfortunately for Zelik, a recent nine-game win streak after a 1-5 start will likely not be enough to pull off one of the more memorable comebacks in recent ALACS fantasy history. Zelik will need to win his H2H Matchup against Weinberger in Week 17, and then would need to overtake both Meyer and Spektor in total points while also needing such a poor performance from Spektor that Goldman is also able to pass Spek in total points.

Roxy Returns (1:25 odds to win): The USC Division leader for the majority of the season faltered late in the game, turning in a combined 16-40 record in Breakdown in Weeks 12-16. Meyer was only recently overtaken by Spektor in total points and still has 11 PWR Points in that category, but the damage was really done in H2H Record, where Meyer currently sits tied with four teams at 9-7. Meyer could conceivably gain 4.5 PWR Points in Week 17, but only an epic collapse from Spektor could provide him any hope.

FANTASY FOOTBALL: GU DIVISION

Jordan Van Horn goes into Week 17 in control of his own destiny: winning his Week 17 matchup vs. Trevor Severeid’s Romo and the Ass Hats will guarantee Team Van Horn at least a share of the GU Division Championship. After a mediocre start to the season, the Ass Hats have posted a dominating 48-7 breakdown record in the last five weeks. Severeid and Van Horn’s Week 17 matchup could send shockwaves through the standings. If Severeid wins, the door will be open for Pete Lawton's Panty Sniffers to gain H2H PWR Points – a movement that would be assisted by losses from Hail Hokit and Mike Marty’s One-Eyed Wonder. The Points category is also extremely tight at the top of the GU Division with three teams – Lawton, Van Horn, and Stokke – within eight points of each other in that order, and Severeid the only other conceivable factor, 29 points back of Stokke. JVH should hold on to his 12 PWR Points in Breakdown.

Team Van Horn (3:1 odds to win): A Week 17 Victory over Romo and the Ass Hats guarantees JVH at least a share of the GU Division Championship (in the event of a tie, total points is used as a tiebreaker).

Panty Sniffers (1:3 odds to win): A number of Week 17 scenarios could make things interesting for Pete Lawton, but a lot will need to go right for the Panty Sniffers to come out on top. Lawton can gain PWR Points in H2H Record with some combination of a Panty Sniffers victory and losses from Van Horn, Hokit, and Marty. Lawton can also gain two PWR points in Breakdown if he were to gain three games on both Hail Hokit and the Ass Hats.

Hail Hokit (1:150 odds to win): Barring a truly miraculous Week 17 performance (something in the neighborhood of 200 fantasy points), Hokit stands as the ultimate longshot to win the GU Division crown. The collection of scenarios that would need to play out for Hokit to win would take about two paragraphs to explain, but the important thing is…there’s still a chance.

NFL PICK 'EM

Kyle Davis goes into Week 17 with a commanding lead in NFL Pick ‘Em, sporting a 121-96 record through the season’s first 16 weeks. Steve Duin is 5.5 GB in 2nd place at 116-102, followed by Brett Mullin, Chris Platt and The Commish. Kyle has had only two sub-.500 weeks this season in the Pick ‘Em game, so barring a miracle week from Steve, Hot Karl should walk away with his first NFL Pick ‘Em crown. A victory in the NFL Pick ‘Em game will provide Kyle with a major boost in the ALACS Year-Round Standings.

NCAA PICK 'EM

Adam Brady entered the 17-game BOWL SEASON scoring period with a three-game cushion atop the NCAA Pick ‘Em standings, but four players lie within five games of Brady. Any of those players could conceivably overtake Brady for the NCAA Pick ‘Em Championship over 17 bowl games. The top four players will be paid in the NCAA Pick ‘Em game, and a critical 230 ALACS Points will go to the winner.

NFL SURVIVOR

Mike Rennard won the Survivor Pool’s $1000 Grand Prize in Week 12 when the Raiders defeated the Broncos to knock Andrew Gay out of the pool. Judging by the collective response from the rest of the field, Rennard is undoubtedly the least popular champion in ALACS history.

Merry Christmas, folks. Thanks for playing this year.